Breinholt, Bella P

It felt like I was taken on a journey this week.  A journey full of many emotions.  It seemed as each day passed by the days became more full of tears.  I guess im finding that these moments on my mission mean a lot more to me than i thought.  And im finding that through each tear in those quiet moments.  Its been a lot harder than i anticipated.  The end coming near.  As i sat in that quiet chapel.  Beginning that final gathering with so many missionaries i have grown to love.  Remembering the many moments before where i sat in this chapel and experienced my Saviour.  Listening to my dear Mission President and his wife bear their witness of the Saviour.  As we stood and sang the song we always sing.  "Let us all press on in the work of the Lord..." As tears rolled down my face i began to see.  To really see the journey i have been on.  The many months. Looking into the eyes of my sweet sisters.  Oh how beautiful...

It all began that morning at the train station.  As I sat and read about the journey I have been on the last 16 months.  Looking at that grey sky i have become so familiar with.  Listening to the birds sing.  I saw the bare trees as the moved with the subtle wind.  In that moment His love became tangible.  I became encircled.  In the arms of his love.  I have grown the greatest love for each and every day. Every moment is so sacred to me.  As i read those stories in my book i began to realise he has been here all along.  Leading me with his arms. His love filling my soul. Allowing me to move forward.  Each morning and night this last week i have pled with the Lord to give me opportunities to be refined. Asking this is not easy as opportunities arise that are stretching and truly point out my need for the Saviours help.  There were many moments this week where i gained an appreciation for the atonement. I found myself during man...

Tears rolled down my cheeks many times this week as i anticipated Saturday.  The beginning of a last. "For behold, this is the last time that I shall nourish my vineyard" he says.  Where would He have me nourish one last time? Liverpool. This place has and will continue to become a sacred place for me.  The experinces that have been found in the last 6 weeks have changed me.  We have found the Saviour working consistently in His vineyard.  He never missed a day.  This week was difficult.  There was a day where i felt like everything came crashing down all at once.  The thought of having to stay in for another 2 days just did not seem possible.  I realised that there was more i needed to learn.  The spirit confirmed to my mind that the comfort would come in learning more about His sacrifice.  It always does. As i sat staring at my wall after that long prayer of forgiveness.  My favourite hymn began to play.  "This is the Ch...

A whole week.  Inside a place we rarely spent time in.  What was he trying to teach us? I wanted to believe the words that came from the blessing that was given outside of our flat that one night.  That we would come to the understanding of why the Lord would keep us inside.  It was a question i asked every day.  But, nothing came.  And maybe thats what he wanted me to learn for a little bit.  The miracle he was preparing in the waiting.  I was eager to know what he had planned.  Maybe more so desperate for an understanding.  I missed the people.  I missed to cold breeze that brushed my face all day long.  I missed the long bus rides.  And those 4pm sunsets.  I wanted to be there in those places.  Why couldn't we be in those places?  I felt like we were failing. Did he not understand all the good we could be doing outside?  Where was he?  Why didnt he heal yet?  Why was it taking so long?...